Lazario - On the Town
Vitello's in Hell-O
By Horton Lazario
tucked away in Studio City is Vitello's
Restaurant; best known as the
place where Robert Blake allegedly shot his wife in cold blood.
Unfortunately, this bit of trivia is the best thing this
restaurant has to offer.
me tell you about something equally as cold-blooded as the Blake murder
- my night from hell at Vitello's.
Now don't get me wrong; I've been to Vitello's in the past
and I was happy. But
things have gone straight down the tubes since the Blake murder.
For one thing the owners/managers used to be really nice.
They would come by and sit down at your table for a little
chat. Now, however, they
have turned into a ravenous pack of wolves, stressed out deranged
lunatics screaming at 2-year-old children, and squabbling with everybody
who is stupid enough to darken their doorway.
chemically imbalanced Leona Helmsley on a PMS induced sugar rant and you'll get an idea of how my party was
mistreated by the manager at Vitello's restaurant.
not often that I, an award-winning restaurant critic and international
subjected to an evening of complete and utter horseshit, but there it
Okay, enough about the service (by the way our waitress was
great). Let's talk about the food. If I were one of those
people who looked at the glass as half-full, instead of half-empty, I
might search for something positive to say about my meal, like...
food may have been awful, but at least it was expensive." But I'm not. In fact, I've been told by several ex-girlfriends
that I'm rather sardonic. So, as far as I'm concerned, the way these people did
a butcher job on my
meal they - not Robert Blake - should be on trial.
that brings me to another point - in his murder defense Robert Blake
stated that he had "been coming to Vitello's restaurant for 20 years."
you fucking kidding me?
the way I see it: Robert Blake has an excellent insanity defense.
Why? Because only a
fucking lunatic would come back to this retard's excuse for a restaurant
serious - Blake's lawyer should consider this defense. All it would take is the
jury coming to Vitello's and having one single meal with Mr. Deranged
Manager and Blake would walk.
Scott-Free. Game over. Instant
slam dunk. Goodbye orange
jumpsuit, hello golf with O.J.
perhaps something more sinister is afoot. What nobody has considered is
perhaps the Vitello's owners committed the murder themselves. Why
would they do such heinous thing?
Nancy, let's think
This place was a ghost town before the murder and now
it's doing big mega-zagat-monstrous business.
So, PROFIT was the motive! It's always the motive. Oldest
game in the book. This does, however, cause me to wonder why the manager has turned into such
a spasmodic jackass of all trades. I mean
be in a better mood?
A really better mood?
customers = more money = happy manager.
NOT the case
however at Vitello's.
At least one thing's for sure
Bobby Blake is convicted the prison food
won't be a let down for him since he likes Vitello's so much. Ta
ta for now...